The the day I knew I was accepted into the program, my thoughts were full the happy fact that dude, I'm going to study abroad. I'm excited at the idea of THE hell semester looming ahead, where I'm going to be struggling with 5 subjects with requirements that seem to have the same deadline. And I'm also excited of the idea of having my hell semester while I'm part of the core team of one of Ateneo's biggest events.
"If I could pull this off, God what an ego booster!". Hahaha JK.
The month of April was all about eagerness and anticipation. I'm excited to do my first homework. I'm excited to go to the first organization meeting. I'm excited to meet my fellow JTA coursemates. I'm treasuring every single moment of my JTA sem because I know that at moments like these, time just seems to be flying really fast.
May is the gloomier one, and this is also the time where I start to panic a little because June's near ahead. The thought of turning 19 -Wow. Seems like yesterday I was just 18! But on the academics stuff, May is where we're starting to work on the first part of our group projects -and this was hard because we still got that not-really-doing-anything-much-yet hangover from April. And what delights bothers me is going to school when the regular semester has already ended -which means no human traffic HAHAHA especially in the SEC walk. :))
June. Before I knew it, we're already halfway through the semester. @.@ And this is the first time in my entire life where I studied on the eve of my birthday! How cool is that. Really, when you're studying and too preoccupied with all those org and academic stuff, you can't help it but feel less excited than usual for your birthday. One year older? Ok, no big deal *back to philo readings*. BTW, at first I found it odd to be going to school with people around already. Hahaha May hangover :))
July. THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. HELL. This is the month where I'm almost already near to tears out of frustration. July is when I'm already expecting myself to breakdown any moment. July is the month when I bummed with Korean series the night before our final marketing pass because I seriously needed a break or else. Imagine going to the extent of telling yourself "This will all be worth it in the end" just to keep yourself going on and away from the thoughts of giving up. :)
If I've started the sem with anticipation, I think I'm ending this one with hesitation. The day a friend of mine contacted me regarding joining this year's dance competition in September was the day I was forced to acknowledge the things/PEOPLE I will badly miss while I'm out there braving the Jang Geun Suk's homeland. Now I understand why some friends of mine prefer to forgo this opportunity despite being a once-in-your-college-life opportunity. Because in place of this you will also miss moments and people which could also happen once in your college life.
Am I talking about backing out or regretting joining the program? No, and I really hope this would still be my answer by the time I get back in December. When I get there, I may be scared of opening my Facebook homepage and seeing tagged photos of my friends who are also having the time of their life with each other. I am also scared of losing my close friends: what if we will not be as close as before? Lastly, I'm scared of being homesick. No matter how many times our lecturer tell us that homesickness can now be cured with Skype and Facebook, I beg to disagree. Facebook, YM! and Skype, prove me wrong then! :)
Go online [always while you can]. Write on their walls. BUZZ them. Send them emails. Give effort. Or else you might get used to the momentary life without them [which is not cool btw]. And they will get used to the few days without you.
And I bet you don't want that.
