I did this for several times already. After almost 3 years of leaving CDO for Manila, I guess my flight 5 hours ago would be the same as usual.
But oh well. so much for frequent flyers.
Today is just like any ordinary day until my sister said goodbye to me twice and even kissed me on the cheek (of course with saying "eew" after). So today might be something not ordinary since my sister doesn't normally do that. Nevertheless, I feel sleepy yet I still managed to drag myself to the showers to prepare for my 10am flight. After the shower, I proceeded with re-fixing my stuff to include newly-laundered undies and some clothes. Then I sat on my favorite dining chair to grab some spam and eggs for breakfast. See, it's just another ordinary day.
By 8:30am I said goodbye to my brother which is so not me, then to our pet dog Kimmy (who's a German Sheperd btw) which was whining a little -could this be the dog's counterpart of crying? Then I got on the car and as usual, closed my eyes, ready to take a mini-nap while on our way to the airport.
On ordinary days, I sleep. I always sleep on our car rides.
But this time, I can't since I happen to feel tears rolling down my face. WHUT THE F---. And before I could figure out how to wipe my tears and breathe properly without my parents noticing, let's just say my dad (who was driving) looked at me and my mommy gave me her hanky.
Caught in the act. O__O
Every female lead character in all the television series I've watched are always so good in crying without others noticing that I can't help but think why wasn't I able to hide mine. Ohh yeah, television series are scripted. Mine's not. But still I can't believe I cried in front of my parents (actually my mom's beside me at the backseat while dad's in front driving, but you get it right?). If there's one thing that I find it hard to express, it's will be missing someone. Well for me it's easy to say you miss someone -write on their Facebook wall, text them or tell them. Maybe it's because the separation's already there, and all you need to do is just to acknowledge it by saying you miss the other party. But in this case -expressing that you will miss the other party - the separation's not yet there, yet you have to acknowledge it because whether you like it or not both parties are going to that direction of parting ways sooner or later.
And in my case,crying is synonymous to me taking off that mask and showing them what I really feel.
At first I really felt shy about it, but 5 hours after my flight, I felt better knowing that I showed (or assured? haha) my parents that I will miss them.
Why bother living when you're bound to hide your feelings?
uhm, it's just that some words are better left unsaid? :))
Bottom line: All of this is just a rehearsal for my August 28 flight to Korea, from the way I pack my luggage to fit in all my clothes, from drafting my checklist, from spending each day as if it's an ordinary day rather than preparing for your own despedida, from carrying all my bags (2 luggages, 1 backpack and 1 camera bag), and from saying goodbyes.
I guess I would never be able to perfect the last part. So much for rehearsing. Let's settle with spontaneity then! That would be much easier :))
CDO, see you this December 30!
PS: Crying has its benefits you know.It helps in cleansing out impurities from the eyes and it also helps out in releasing stress hormones which have negative effects on our bodies. No wonder we felt relieved after crying, right? :)
